Chapter 1 - General Pawvisions

Article 11. Translations from Doggish
​Article 12. Offense and Penalty

Article 11. Translations from Doggish

• (a) AAAROOOOO
  • (1) That hurts!
• (b) Grrrr
  • (1) Stop touching that or I'll make you stop touching it
• (c) GRRRR
  • (1) Last warning, heathen
• (d) *quiet whimper*
  • (1) Somethings wrong with my ____
• (e) *loud whimper"
  • (1) Give me your sandwich and I won't steal it 

Article 12. Offense and Penalty

• (a) Definitions
  • (1) The term "bodily injury" means
    • (a) Ouchies, booboos and/or bumps
  • (2) The term "mental injury" means
    • (a) embarrassment
    • (b) hurt feelings
  • (3) The term "arbitration" means
    • (a) whining or arguing
• (b) Penalties
  • (1) The punishment for a violation of Doggo rights or an attempt or conspiracy to violate Doggo rights shall be
    • (A) No find under this Title if the offense did not instill fear and 
      • (I) No bodily injury
      • (II) No mental injury
    • (B) Fine under this title if the offense did not cause bodily injury and
      • (I) No mental injury
      • (II) Minor mental injury
    • (C) Fine under this title if the offense caused mental injury and
      • (I) Minor bodily injury
    • (D) Fine under this Title if the offense caused mental injury and
      • (I) Major bodily injury
• (c) Restitution
  • (1) For nap or play time lost
  • (2) For mental injury
  • (3) For bodily injury

Chapter 2 - Appointments at the Dogter

Article 21. Validity of need
Article 22. Stay of appointment where issue therein is referable to arbitration

Article 21. Validity of need

• (a) Whosoever takes Doggo to the Vet shall be held liable as provided for in Article 12, subsection (b) and is subject to any and all penalties in Article 12, subsection (c)
  • (1) For the purpose of mandatory vaccinations
  • (2) For the purpose of wound care
  • (3) For the purpose of diagnostic intervention
  • (4) For the purpose of desensitization
  • (5) With malicious intent

Article 22.  Stay of appointment where issue therein is referable to arbitration

• (a) Doggos are eligible to dispute a visit to the Vet for specific reasons
  • (1) No dispute allowed
    • (A) Annual Care
    • (B) Mandatory vaccinations
    • (C) Diagnostic intervention
    • (D) Wound care
  • (2) Dispute allowed
    • (A) Nail Trim
    • (B) Socialization
    • (C) Behavioral complaints unrelated to a medical condition
• (b) Doggo may request that arbitration be held in accordance with the Family agreement
• (c) In the event that the appointment has already occurred, the Council will review the medical notes of the appointment to determine the allowable penalties
• (d) All visits must conclude with Treatos given unless the Dogtor advises otherwise
  • (1) Any forced Ouchy require 2 kisses
    • (A) Pokey (Bum or Leg)
    • (B) Loud machine pictures
  • (2) Ouchy Paws require at least 1 additional Treatos
  • (3) If the Dogtor discourages Treatos, said Treatos must be put into the Treato Bank
    • Courtesy of @hank_thegreyhound

Chapter 3 - Appointments at the Groomer

Article 31. Validity of need

Article 31. Validity of need

• (a) Definitions
  • (1) The term "Grooming" means
    • Any singular service or combination of the following services
      • Nail trim
      • Ear cleaning
      • Hair trim
      • B.A.T.H.
      • Teefs brushing
• (b) Whosoever takes Doggo to the Groomer shall be held liable as provided for in Article 12, subsection (b) and is subject to any and all penalties in Article 12, subsection (c)
  • (1) For the purpose of malicious intent
  • (2) For the purpose of necessary trimmings
  • (3) For the purpose of pre-event gussying up​

Chapter 4 - Potty Breaks

Article 41. Validity of need
​Article 42. Weather

Article 41. Validity of need

• (a) Outdoor excursions for the singular need of potty (rather than exercise) shall be allowed
  • (1) upon request
  • (2) in natural intervals
• (b) Outdoor excursions shall not be forced unless it has been more than 10 hours between potties
• (c) Should there be Problems with the outside, potties can be delayed
  • (1) Firecrackers
  • (2) Thunder/lightning
  • (3) Mean Doggos nearby

Article 42. Weather

• (a) See Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Sky Tears

Article 51. Weather Offenses 
​Article 52. Compensatory damages

Article 51. Weather Offenses

• (a) The following Outdoor Situations are offenses and should be compensated. Refer to 5.52.a
  • (1) Thunder/Lightning
  • (2) Sky tears (rain)
  • (3) Frozen sky tears (snow)
  • (4) Sky rocks (hail)
  • (5) Ouchie Sun (excessive heat)
  • (6) Ouchie Outside floor (excessively hot or cold ground)

Article 52. Compensatory damages

• (a) Should a Doggo be subjected to a Weather Offense, compensation must be provided. Options are as follows
  • (1) Thunder/Lightning
    • (A) Snuggles, Treatos of choice
  • (2) Sky tears
    • (A) Warm towel, gentle face wipes, Treatos of choice
  • (3) Frozen sky tears
    • (A)Warm towel, brisk rub, Treatos of choice
  • (4) Sky rocks
    • (A) Warm towel, brisk rub, Treatos of choice
  • (5) Ouchie Sun
    • (A)Cool water for slurping, Treatos of choice
  • (6) Ouchie Outside floor
    • (A) Toe bean rub with Mushers, Treatos of choice

Chapter 6 - Itchiness

Article 61. Type of itch
​Article 62. Resolution

Article 61. Types of Itch

• (a) Itchy face
  • Foreign substance causing itch
  • General itchiness
• (b) Itchy body
  • Foreign substance causing itch
  • Clothing causing itch
  • General itchiness
• (c) Itchy bum
  • Foreign substance causing itch
    
  • General itchiness
• (d) Itchy, erm, parts
  • Use your humagination

Article 62. Resolution

• (a) The Hooman shall inspect the area for foreign substances
  • (1) Remove the foreign substance
    
    • (A) B.A.T.H. allowed only in the most dire of circumstance. Consent form required
• (b) Hooman shall do the scratches until the itchiness has subsided
  • (1) If itchiness due to clothing, Hooman shall remove and use blanket to resolve chilliness until clothing can be de-itchified
• (c) In relation to 63.d.1
  • (1) Hooman shall resolve as necessary
    • (A) Vet visit is allowed only in the most dire of circumstances. Consent form required